Winner Takes it All

I don't want to talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't want to talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all

So the winner takes it all
And the the loser has to fall
Throw a dice, cold as ice
Way down here, someone dear
Takes it all, has to fall
It seems plain to me

Happy, happy birthday to you

Wish you had a great birthday today..

Really.. I can only wish you all the happiness in the world.

This date.. every year, brings a twinge to my heart. I have so many unspoken words to say to you..

So many, so many..

But it's all in my head.. I can't bring myself to write it down...

This year, however.. is a little special..

It's the 10th anniversary of us spending your birthday together.. for the last time.

It's almost the 10th anniversary of me leaving home... and of you.. leaving me.

10th anniversary.. deserves something a little more special.. don't you think?

It was 2006.

It's 2016 now.

Ten years. Can't believe it.

Just like that. Gone.

In my soul, my spirit.. time stopped for me in 2006.

Part of me died.. in 2006..
I never came back.. My heart is still in 2006.

And no one knows.

Everyone close to me thinks that I got over you, moved on.

I put up a front.. no one knows.

I can't tell anyone.. male friends tell me.. be a man.. move on.. don't be weak..
Female friends can't believe one man can be that.. in love.

And that was 10 years ago.

How can anyone believe this now?

So.. no one knows.


Long time ago, I said to you.. 'After you, I could never love another..'

And I haven't. It wasn't a promise.. it was just.. me.

I knew I could never love someone else then.. And I haven't.

I wish I could see you once more..
See you smiling.. laughing.. one more time..

And tell you sorry, for my hubris, my arrogance.. my temperament.

Maybe it's been much better for you since then..
These 10 years without me..
I wouldn't know..

But I really do hope, and pray.. that you are having a wonderful happy life now.



I avoid writing, because it's painful..

Sometimes, it's overwhelmingly so..
Sometimes, I find a beautiful song for the soul..
Yet nothing soothes the pain.

But I hope.. you could see all this someday..

I don't want to die, and have you.. not knowing..
That someone out there.. hasn't stopped thinking of you..
Hasn't stopped... loving you.

Attached this clip for you..
And if you are the movie buff I know you are..
You would have seen it before.

This one scene, in the entire 8 movie series, made me go..

'Ouch.. Dear Professor Snape, I know that feel bro.'

Felt it right in the heart.

I am waiting for someone to ask me.. 'After all this time?'

And I will reply... 'Always..'


Wishing you all the happiness in the world..

Once again.. dreamt of you last night...
Long story short.. you are still beautiful..

Last Christmas

Do you remember this?

It was one of the very first things you shared with me.  :D

I love this so much.. I have kept the original file you gave me in Dec 2002 with me all this time.

Yes.. This is the original file from you.

It's so cute and touching at the same time.

And of course it reminds me of you every time I see it.  :'(





And no it's not by the Beatles.

Wham! composed and sung the original version, and by then, the Beatles had already broken up for a good many years.
Also John Lennon was shot and died 4 years before this song appeared.

So now you know.

Insensitive

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat, after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice
You'd know anywhere?

Oh, I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face that told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive

How do you numb your skin, after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood, after the body rush?
How do you free your soul, after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime to fall in love again?

Oh, you probably won't remember me
It's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I'm out of vogue, I'm out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive

Oh, I really should've known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face that told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive

李宗盛 - 凡人歌

Love this classic song..
Only ever heard it on radio etc one or two decades ago,
never knew the name or the singer.

Haven't heard it since.

Thanks to a very close friend..
I now know the singer, song name, and the meaning of the song.

Pretty fitting.. don't you think?






The modern version has a very unique character as well.

If you are not the one..

Do you remember our song?

Yes, once upon a time..

we had a song.. it was our song.

I have not been able to listen to it since Dec 2006 / Jan 2007..

Could not bear to hear it..

... still can't..   :`(

Missing you and it still hurts

Sometimes I want to write 'I miss you' on a big ass rock, then throw it in your face.

So that you will know how much it still hurts... missing you... after all these years.